Facing Reality

After a few months I was doing even worse. I wasnt feeling any better. If possible I was even feeling worse... In September I got in the biggest fight with one of my friends I had ever gotten in. We were texting and I was trying to be a peace maker and be nice, but other friends got involved, and we had more problems. After that we made up, but lots of tears were being cried for a few nights. After that things were never the same with us. The good part about that fight was that I talked to my mom about it, and I became a lot closer to her. I'll never regret that. That stupid fight helped to save my life. The night that my friend and I talked, lead to me telling my mom about my eating disorder. I sat out on my front porch with my mom and sister-in-law. I cried and cried before any words would come out. I didn't know how to tell her that I was literally killing myself from the inside out. Telling your mom that you hate the life she gave you is the worst feeling that you could ever feel. Luckily my mom had already caught on. She knew I was struggling, and needed help. We talked about it for a while and decided we would try recovery on our own. I couldn't do it on my own. It was not something that you can just stop. It is an addiction, and it's the hardest addiction to fight. People with eating disorders face their addictions everyday. Alcoholics and drug addicts can just remove that substance. We have to face food everyday. If you eat too much you have an eating disorder. If you don't eat enough you still have an eating disorder. It seemed impossible.